Drum roll please...
It was negative. Okay...now cheer like you were going to...go on...CHEER! No really, go ahead and cheer because I see this as a blessing too. This just means more time with my wonderful Husband! Yep this was just another one of those months...
Honestly I am just fine :) Of course a little down but...not much, really! I know that I'm in God's will and that He knows best! Sometimes what we think would be best for us, isn't at all what is beneficial for us. God sees things differently than we do. I know that God is looking down on me right now...knowing the future, and what it holds for me. He is looking down in silence. He is choosing to be silent so that my faith will grow, and so that my love and knowledge of Him will increase. Through this God is teaching me patience. Among other things! I suppose there is just more God feels I need to experience, and become educated about...before I have a child.
I was a little down at first, when I saw the, "Not pregnant" bleed through the screen. But, then I started feeling bad, that I was feeling bad...I shouldn't feel or respond in that way. So quickly I gathered my emotions together, and started instead, thanking God for this blessing of not being pregnant. I try to look at everything from a positive perspective. (No pun intended ;)
NEVER CEASE TO WORSHIP!
I must praise God in the good times! And I must praise God in the hard times! Through it all, I will never cease to worship! I will choose to worship the creator, not the creation. To many times I think, some get so wrapped up into wanting to have a child...that, they make that there god. Anything can become an idol if we make it one.
Our children, our spouse, our dog, our furniture, our house, our education, our job, our looks...etc. It can go on and on. We must remember never to turn anything into an idol. We must try to never put anything above, or before God. An Idol is anything that comes before God that you place all of your time and energy into, that you pour all your effort into. God can easily be placed on the back burner once we decide to create an idol for ourselves.
I believe God must be at the center of our lives. I like to think of it this way...God is the ultimate leader. My Husband is holding his hand...and behind my Husband is me, holding my Husband's hand. Can you picture it? God is the ultimate leader of our lives. As he strolls about life's journey with us...guiding us where He wants to, we gladly take his hand and let him lead. God first. My Husband second. Me third. God, is leading my Husband and God, through my Husband, is leading me. And I follow. Of course next down the line of hand holding would be our children...but as you now know...I'm not there yet. In His timing! Haven't surrendered all yet? Jesus is waiting to take your hand...
"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28)
The moral of the blog post?
LET GOD LEAD!
Life Doesn't come with an easy button:
That's why we need God to help us through our struggles...
You can't lead your own life, and make your
own rules. If you are, you are setting yourself up for failure...
"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."
JESUS IS MY SHEPARD, IS HE YOURS TOO?
I am gonna' go through the fire...if He wants me too.
I am gonna' go through the dark valley...if He wants me too.
It may not be the way, I would have chosen.
It's not gonna' be easy going through a world that's not my home.
But I know that as I'm walking... I'll never have to go alone.
The Video below has blessed me. It is a song by Christian artist Ginny Owens. The song describes exactly how I feel. I pray that it will a be blessing to you as well....
Have you ever struggled with fertility? How are you handling it? Feel free to share. It might be a blessing to someone!