With Spring Comes Changes

"So okay, I know it's not Spring yet but, why not?"
My Husband and I are thinking about doing some gardening today in our front yard! the weather is looking really nice and all so we just thought why not! It needs some SERIOUS maintenance! But, that's taken care of, my Husband Jon pictured above :) Is the man for the job! He's gonna' do great! I just wanted to openly appreciate my Husband in this post.
Jon is an outstanding man of God. He is an inspiration. ever since we came back from the conference it has been like a night and day difference in our marriage! When problems arise, he better understands how to solve them. He has just been doing a wonderful job at applying all that we learned at the conference. Thank you Jonathan for being such a sweetheart...even when it's not Valentines Day! And thanks for making me feel special by calling me your, "Bride and Joy" ;) I love you! Many many changes have been going on in our marriage, good changes. More and more I can see these changes unfolding and more and more I can see how we are benefiting from them in a positive way! When I speak of changes, I mean mostly, Spiritual. God has been doing a marvelous work in our marriage all along, I guess it's just now that I am finally beginning to realize that! I can't quite explain how I feel, but I feel good! For those of you out there who know me or just like to keep up with my blogs -news news...Well...news is usually NEW lol...BUT, this is something that many of you know...Jon and I are still trying to conceive and we are continuing to feel the prayers of His' people being sent our way! We just wanted to thank all of those who are, we can't thank you enough! Well, we aren't expecting as of right now. But we have just adopted a very valuable little something called FAITH! Lol...by the grace of God, through these ups and downs of TTC, our faith has grown. Not only has it grown but it's here, with us and in us...Jesus has given us and placed inside of our hearts -what feels like the first time- this unshakable, unwavering faith! We are both so grateful for. I know some of you may be thinking...that's it? Just faith? Have you not had that all along? Well, the answer to that is yes...BUT, we just didn't know what it really meant to truly believe. We didn't...(well, I didn't)...REALLY know how to have faith, and how to put feet to my faith...and God spoke to me about how faith without works is DEAD! And so, that really helped me more fully understand how to have faith, what faith means, and how having faith and a Spirit of total surrender to God can drastically turn things around in life, for the better. I don't really know how to explain it but, all of these new and positive changes, and now the refreshing feeling I have when I choose to surrender and hand my plans over to God it's just, it's very freeing. Just, knowing that God is in total control of my life, and that He has plans to not harm me but to give me hope and a future...I find security in knowing that and in knowing He knows! :) So have faith today! Jesus hears your cry! And He understands your tears! The moment you feel like giving up on God DON'T -because if you keep going strong even if you feel like there is just no hope...that is when God will pick you up, dust you off, and will set you on a path to freedom. You will never want to go back to your old life again. God wants to KNOW you, He wants to heal you and set you free! Will you let Him do that today? Christ is always speaking to us in someway....it's not Him that is slowing us down...it is US that is slowing us down. Christ is ALWAYS there...He is not out of reach! If we just call out to Him and choose to listen to Him...He will give us what it is we are searching for. It may not always be what we want but, it is what is best for us. What we want isn't always what we need. Trust God and have faith! Dive into His holy Word, fill your self with Scriptures so that when you need them, they will be right there, written upon your heart's memory. God Bless You!

"Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:8

"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts." Deuteronomy 6:6

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

"In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead." James 2:17

Because of Jesus,

-Tina

Best Trip Ever! Part 1

So it was a snowy weekend in Northwest Arkansas but the trip was well worth it! My Husband Jon and I had a wonderful time. We got to fill our hearts with the wisdom that only God can give. Gary smalley (the speaker at the event we went to). was amazing! He had so may great things to say as well as his son, and others. We learned many things and got some great tips on how to have a more effective marriage, and also how to have more effective friendships with others. I would recommend any married couple to go to the Gary Smalley we love healthy marriages event! There you will renew your marriage and spark a fire it your marriage that will keep on growing! Speaking of growing, I was blessed enough to have been able to snap a photo of the Duggar Home as we drove by...little Duggars were out playing in the snow...they were eyeing our car...lol...I think it was little Jackson who was out there using the, "Vote for Jon-David" sign to sled around with. I couldn't tell exactly which little Duggars were out their but, they sure looked like they were having a blast!

At the event we met Josh and Anna Duggar from the hit TLC show, "19 Kids and Counting". I couldn't believe they were there! It was a miracle! There were 1400 people at the event and we just so happened to bump into them! My Husband and I are HUGE fans of the Duggar family! A day prior to meeting them at this event my Husband and I got stuck at Champion Motor Cars the snow was piled heavy...as well as the traffic! But it was still neat! Anna was gracious enough to allow me to take a picture with her. For those of you who think that Anna is snobby or snootie....YOU ARE WRONG! This girl is SO kind and selfless...she even took the time to engage in conversation with me. It wasn't just a quick photo and that was that! She is genuine, real and full of Christ! As well as her Husband Josh, my Husband approached Joshua and told him what a wonderful influence he and Anna have been to us in our lives, and how we are so proud of them for staying so strong in there faith, and for doing so many great things and so forth and so on and...all Josh said was, "Wow...well, praise the LORD." They didn't draw any attention to themselves, they are very personable and humble. It was an honor and a blessing to have met them.

This weekend is a weekend my Husband and I will never forget! It was the best trip ever! I would just like to openly thank my wonderful Husband for taking the time to honor our marriage, and for being so thoughtful and wise! He planned this trip so perfectly! I thank you LORD as well for the many blessings poured out! And for all the wisdom we have obtained. Thank you for keeping us safe as well! We are young and in love! And now even more in love than before thanks to God working through this wonderful conference! I know we we weren't the only married couple that left changed! And revived! Now it is time my Husband and I apply what we have learned in our daily lives! I am so grateful to God for all the people that he had put across our path during the trip! We were deeply inspired, encouraged, renewed, refreshed and truly blessed!



I think it is very vital for every married couple to attend a marriage event once a year! My husband and I have decided that is what we are going to do! For Jon (my hubby) and I, we feel this conference has given us a whole new perspective on marriage. Marriage is more than just a commitment, it's a calling, it's an honor, and a privilege. [= I love you Jonathan! Happy Valentines Day baby! I pray we can celebrate many many more to come!!

Have YOU ever met a Duggar? Tell me about it!

*Don't forget to read part 2*

In Sickness And Health

We're sick! Yep...this hasn't happened very often in our marriage. It's hard to take care of one another when we both need taken care of. He started feeling bad today, sounds like he's getting a bad cold. I have laryngitis so, I'm trying to do what the doctors say to do: drink lot's of water, get rest try not to speak...etc. (That last one is hard for me sometimes...especially when my husband comes home from work and wants to talk about his hard day. I want to have a voice to encourage him with. SO, lately I have been trying to find other ways to encourage him. It's working out alright...though, I still miss talking. I pray that we both get well soon!

Hopefully within the next couple weeks we'll begin to see progress. My Husband is very healthy and NEVER seems to get sick. He told me once, he said, "Honey, when I get sick...I GET S-I-C-K!!" SO, whatever my husband has must be REALLY bad...because as I said, he seems to NEVER get sick. Whenever it begins to feel like too much effort to care after each other, we sometimes remind each other of the promise we made in our vows..."In sickness or in health right babe?"...."Right sweety". (:

Last night we went out on a date. Even though we don't feel the best, we still try to make the best out of every situation. Well, last night I wasn't feeling the best...he was feeling fine then. I really wanted to go out on a date even though I felt bad so...we went. He said it was a surprise and that our reservations were made. I was like, "Hmm....hee hee. I'm excited!" A world of thoughts came swimming through my brain. "Hmmm...I wonder if we're going to a fancy hotel...or, maybe dinner somewhere...OR.. -"

We got in the the car and started driving...he reached his hand across the middle seat to hold my hand...he smiled, and said,"I love you". I smiled back and enjoyed feeling 17 again. All of a sudden, the car came to a stop. He walked out and around the car to my side of the door, opened it, took my hand like the gentlemen he is...and gently escorted me to our destination. "This is it", he said. I looked up and saw a sign above the doors that read, "La Pastorella."

He kindly opened the door, and allowed me to go in first. I looked around this beautiful bistro and saw all of the vintage pieces they had all around. The tables were set up nicely, the romantic music flooded the room. We took our seats and began reading the menu.

"Yes, I'll have the Spaghetti Parmesan with Italian Sausage please." "And for you Sir?" "I'll have the Cordon Bleu, please." As we waited for our food we sipped our drinks, laughed and talked and had a great time. Our food arrived! "Oo that looks good! Thank you." I exclaimed. "Wow this looks really good". "Your most welcome!" The waiter said. He went on, and we dug in! I'm telling you folks...I have NEVER sunk my teeth into pasta that good EVER before. I am mostly Italian and my Father and grandpa (especially Grandpa)...makes some crazy good pasta! But, it's NOTHING like the pasta from La Pastorella!

No offensive familia -I love you all but, you need to sharpen up your pasta-making skills ;)

The night at, La Pastorella was wonderful. A great surprise! Thank you honey for taking me there and surprising me! I love you! :)

We finished off our romantic meal with a tasty desert called, Chocolate Marble Cheesecake, set the tip on the table, and drove off into the frosty night! Even though I was a bit sick...I don't regret one moment of the night. It was incredible. Being sick with supper isn't so bad when you have someone special to enjoy it with :)

Have you and your spouse ever been sick at the same time?

Untill next post!

Emotionally Dying

My wonderful Husband Jon, and I.

For several months prior to this time my Husband had noticed my emotions shifting. It appeared to him that after we suffered the miscarriage month after month after month...I continually got worse. Everything began to alter in a negative way, my eating habits, my focus, my Spiritual life appeared to be shriveling up. Etc. Etc. There were a whole lot of things that we had talked about concerning me. Jon was very worried about me. I love my Husband Jon. I love how he cares enough to sit me down and talk to me for while, even if it's not the most convenient time. So we talked and talked and talked...and cried, and laughed, and prayed. It was nice. That was just a couple weeks ago...now I am happy to say I have never felt so free. There was this certain program that he went through (Jon) when he was on a missions trip in the UK. The program was called RTF. He explained to me that it was some sort of meeting session...sort of like how a psychologist meets with a burdened down person. However, RTF is different because there is a lot more deep communication and prayer that goes on...it's a Christian thing...not a brainy science thing. One night Jon and I were talking and I was just letting some things of my chest about certain stuff. He looked at me and could tell all of those things were really bogging me down. He looked at me, and said, "I know what you need, I'll be right back." He hurried off and went scrambling in the living room or somewhere for what I had come to find out was old RTF papers from the the RTF he had went through on his missions trip. He went over that with me, and counselled me similar to how he was counselled. The RTF really helped me. I gained a clearer understanding of what it was that I was really feeling and facing, and even why I respond to things in the way I so often do. RTF, really gets to the core of a person. I found it very freeing.

As I was saying, Jon had come to me and talked to me about all of this, and we prayed together, and talked and talked. He really encouraged me. He mentioned that I was running. That I was running away from reality. But most importantly He said I was running away from God, that I was hiding from Him and everything. I agreed with him after thinking about it for a bit...I didn't realize it until right then that, that was so true! I was hiding away from the world. In my own little safety bubble. I was very sad and depressed before Jon and I had this talk. He really opened my eyes. He showed me who I've become ever since the loss of our child. I was slowly fading away...I was emotionally dying. I was allowing those dark thoughts to take over. I was allowing the "shadows" of depression to feel welcome and become my friends. Because of that, choice, I slowly fell deeper and deeper into a heavy depression which resulted in choosing not to eat hardly anything, be quiet and off to myself doing my own thing, not talking very much about anything, going about my life blindly "living" (at least I thought I was)...but reality opened my eyes and God showed me I was really walking in death the whole time.

Lately, I have been feeling great. I am no longer walking in death. I can now see, the scales have been taken off my eyes. I am free! It feels very good to be able to say that--and mean it. I am so grateful to God! He has used my Husband so powerfully and is working through him each and everyday so mightily. If it wasn't for that man of God in my life I honestly can't tell you where I would be right now. God has truly blessed me with a wonderful Husband. Recently, now that I am feeling alive and awake again, I have been so much more active Spiritually, Physically etc. you know...getting up and doing things, not being afraid to be spontaneous and try new stuff! I feeling like I'm 16 again. I am so glad the day has finally come where I can just feel and know I am OK. I am OK. All of this goes much deeper than just my Husband and I suffering a miscarriage...

I love my parents. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't trade them for any other parents. Growing up, I had a really rough life. That life is where most of all this stems from. I would rather not get too in to detail about my childhood and my past. I will share with you though, that I have walked through I'd say, too much too fast for such a young woman. I was a very rebellious girl as child...and up into my teens. I spent most of my life searching for love. I grew up very poor with little to eat, and not a comfortable place to sleep. I was homeless for sometime in my teen years during middle school. My Father is a great man but, growing up wasn't easy because of some of the decisions he chose to make. My Mother had mental illness almost all of my growing up years. When I was just a small child, my Mother was possessed by demons. It wasn't an oppression, it was possession. It was very traumatic for me as a child not to be able to have that Mother-Daughter bond I was longing for. My Mother was delivered, the demons left her in a Church service back in oh...97', 98' ?

My Mother has always been disabled, ever since I can remember. She has had several medical hurdles she has been trying to get over. She is a sweet woman. I have an older brother, I have only seen him once in my whole life. The first and last time I saw him was when I was 8. Since then...I have spoken very briefly over the phone with him off and on. My brother is mentally ill. He has been in prison. And, has been homeless (I guess you could call a gypsie...(a traveler by foot) most of his life from what I understand. He is a very sweet brother. I have one of the letters he wrote my Father and Mother when he was incarcerated. I try and cherish the vague memories I have. They are vague memories but, at least there memories. I was almost molested by a man in the Apts. I lived in when I was a girl. I lived in the ghetto most of my life. To me, it felt somewhat safe...it was just "normal" for me, I was used to it. I have been tormented and abused mentally, emotionally and physically by complete strangers, and acquaintances...even "friends" as a small girl, and as a teen. Living life in the ghetto as a small girl, and living life in the suburbs near Mexico in a boarding home...wasn't easy. It was very stressful. And scary. I had attended a Bi-lingual school, when I was a teen in middle school. I liked the school but, had lot's of trouble concentrating because of all that was going on. My focus was not fully on God at that time...it was on guys. I have been hurt deeply by several young guys in my past relationships. I regret dating off and on so much. I was searching for love, just someone to care about me and tell me I was beautiful is all. We all want that, but ladies, trying to use men to fulfill that desire is not the route you wanna' take. If you already have...it's never to late to change. There is someone who is madly in love with you and thinks you are beautiful. His name is Jesus Christ. He wants a relationship with you. Jesus is the only person that can fill that void in your soul. His love is not temporary--It's eternal.

It's FOREVER. Wouldn't you love to be loved and taken care of, and told you were beautiful and cherished and worth something..for the rest of your life? Then ask Jesus into your heart to be your personal LORD and Saviour today. Why are you running from Him? Why wait any longer...start that beautiful relationship with Jesus today. He has saved me. Men, women...all of you out there...GOD IS ALIVE AND REAL. He is waiting for you to take his hand! He loves me...and He loves you just the same. If he set me free from all my worries, doubts, fears, hurts, depression, emotional issues, eating disorders, mental blocks, suicidal thoughts, anger, bitterness, frustration, confusion...HE CAN DO THE SAME FOR YOU!

God is good and all the time. I am grateful that I stand where I stand today. For those of you out there who know me, even those of you who don't, who have been praying for me. THANK YOU! You all are amazing. Be free today all of you...all who are weak and heavy burdened. Jesus will give you that rest and peace you need. JESUS IS THE ANSWER for the world today.

God Bless You.

Have you ever heard of RTF? Are you allowing God to order your steps? Or are you walking blindly through this life in the dark? Are you Emotionally dying? Dead? Feel free to share your heart...